Alan mulled over his situation as he walked to the bicycle racks. Lately, more and more girls had been asking him out. He'd turned them all down, no matter how appealing they were; he simply had no choice. He was realizing that he wasn't good at "fuck and run" - he tended to get too involved, and there just wasn't enough of him to go around.
But he realized that at least that problem had temporarily kept his mind off more disturbing problems, like Glory breaking up with him or the football players being after him. However, thinking that thought reminded him of what had happened with Glory earlier in the day. That got him depressed all over again.
When he reached his bike, he was surprised to see Amy waiting there. "Hey, Beau!" she said, accompanying it with a big smile and a friendly wave.
Alan replied glumly, "Hey, Aims."
"What's up?"
"Not much." He started to unlock his bike. "I'm surprised to see you still here. What are you waiting for?" It went without saying that almost everyone else had left immediately after school let out.
He looked around for Simone again, and saw her walking away. Apparently, she figured he was safe enough if he was with Amy, especially since there was no sign that any of the football players were still hanging around. He thought to himself, Thanks, Simone!
Amy said, "I'm waiting for you, silly. That's the kinda stuff good girlfriends do, right?"
He looked up at her and forced himself to smile. "You're the best." Noticing that she was wearing her cheerleader outfit, he realized that meant it was a Friday game day, when the cheerleaders usually wore their uniforms all day to help raise school enthusiasm for the football game. He asked, "Don't you have to be at the game?"
"I'm going there in a minute. But first I wanted to make sure you're okay."
"Awww, Aims. You're so sweet. The thing is, I don't deserve it."
She frowned. "Uh-oh, Beau. You're looking and sounding super-bummedy. Did something bad happen to you today?"
"Yeah, you could say that." He finished unlocking his bike and pulled it out of the rack.
"Oh no! What?! Is there anything I can do to help?!"
He looked around and saw that a few other people were still getting their bicycles. "Can you walk with me out to the street? I kinda wanta talk in private."
"M'kay."
They reached the point where they both would normally have gotten on their bikes and started to ride home. But Alan just stood there next to his bike, since Amy obviously couldn't bike off with him. Deciding they were in a private enough spot, he said, "There's a lot of things on my mind right now." Thinking about the situation with Glory, he said, "I don't want to discuss the main thing that's bothering me right now. But don't worry; it has nothing to do with you, and it's nothing you should worry about. Instead, I'd like to talk about how I'm not worthy of having a great girlfriend like you."
He was going to add that he also wasn't worthy of all the love and sexual attention at home, but even saying that much seemed too dangerous, given the importance of keeping the incest secret. He figured it would be better if they were off school grounds, so he suggested, "Why don't we just walk a little bit while we talk?"
"M'kay. Cool."
They started doing just that, with Alan walking his bike along.
Alan sighed. "Aims, I'm such a cad. Do you know what that means?"
"What's that?"
"It's a guy who behaves irresponsibly or dishonorably with women. He just does whatever he feels like without regard for their feelings. That's how I'm feeling right now. I mean, I'm like a kid in a candy store. Girls, for some reason, are really into me these days. I can't say no. I've gotta eat all the candy until I'm sick."
"That's not true," Amy said. "Some girl tried to chat you up just now, and you totally shot her down. But in a nice, polite way, I'm sure, 'cos you're a nice guy."
Alan looked at her with surprise. "You saw that?"
"Yeah. I was behind you, 'cos I wanted to talk to you. I was about to catch up, but when I saw you two start to talk I kinda checked out the scene and then walked on."
He sighed. "Yeah, well..."
She cut in. "And she was a hottie too! True, not a super hot hottie, like..." She looked around, as she pondered mentioning Susan, Suzanne, and Katherine. Even though they were walking side by side down a deserted suburban street, she still felt the need to be vague. "You know, like certain people, who I don't think I even need to name."
He was relieved, but reinforced the need for discretion. "You don't. You definitely don't."
She continued, "If I were a dude, I'd wanna do her! What's her name?"
"Mindy. She's a friend of Heather's, I guess. And by the way, she's not the first cutie to ask me out lately. I've turned them all down." He was feeling down, and he wanted to get the conversation back to how he felt he was a cad. "But before you start giving me kudos for that, I should mention what happened last night."
"Uh-oh." Amy stopped walking, forcing him to stop too. "What happened? Was it when you went out to study with Christine?"
"Yeah. And we did study, at a pub. It was good and helpful, actually. But we kinda got a little flirty, and one thing led to another, and we kissed. On the lips." He hastened to add, "But that was it! It was just a little kissing, and then we both stopped and realized that wasn't a good idea. We vowed to stay platonic only."
Amy stared at him hard. The resulting silence was prolonged and painful. Clearly, she wasn't happy.
Finally, she asked, "Kissing, huh? Was it open-mouthed, tongue-dancing kind of kissing?"
He lowered his head shamefully. "Yeah. Kinda."
"And did your hands wander?"
He admitted, "Yeah. But just, like, for a minute." Curiosity got the best of him and he glanced up at Amy. He saw she was clenching her teeth.
"Did you feel her boobs? Her giganto-big wonder boobs?"
"Yeah, but super quick. And through her blouse." The 'super quick' part wasn't completely accurate, but he could see that Amy was pissed and he didn't want to throw more fuel on the fire at the moment.
There was more silence as Amy turned her back and took a few steps away from Alan. Then she let out a surprisingly loud, "GRRRR!"
Alan propped his bike up and went walking after her. "Aims, I'm sorry! This is what I was saying about how I'm a cad. Sometimes I can't control myself!" He put a hand on her shoulder, trying to be consoling.
But she squirmed and brushed his hand away. "Don't you 'Aims' me! I am NOT happy!"
He felt terrible, because he knew how rare it was for Amy to get upset about anything. "Oh, man! I'm really sorry!"
Amy suddenly turned around to face him. She spoke in clipped tones, because it was obvious that she was trying hard to control her emotions. "You know I'm totally cool with sharing you, but Christine... she's different. She's just so, well... awesome! She's too great at everything. And too beautiful. And, well, too darn busty! How am I supposed to compete?! She's better than me at everything!"
Suddenly her anger turned to insecurity and she looked on the verge of crying.
Alan swept her into her arms. She didn't resist his touch this time. As he hugged her tightly he said, "That's not true! There's one thing you're WAY better at than she is!"
"What's that?"
"Being Amy! You're the bestest, Amy-est Amy ever! I know that sounds silly, but it's true. Only you can be Amy. Nobody else can! You and me, we've been pals ever since we were in diapers. You have a special place in my heart that goes waaaaay back, long before we became boyfriend and girlfriend. You, Mom, Sis, and your mom, you all have special places in my heart that no one else could ever fill. Everyone else, they have to fight for whatever is left over."
Amy was encouraged by that, enough to keep her tears at bay. But she still needed more reassurance. "But Christine, she's-"
He interrupted, and gently held her face. "I don't care! She could fly and fart out gold bricks, and it doesn't matter! She's not you! You're so adorable and wonderful and kind and loving! Just thinking about your always smiling face makes me happy. You light up my life with joy. I love you! And now we've got this sexual thing too, and that makes everything else even better! Don't sell yourself short in the beauty department, by the way. You're a 'super hot hottie' too! And yeah, maybe you don't win awards and get good grades like she does, but so the fuck what? She couldn't hold a candle to your artistic skill. Everybody is good at different things. And what you're best at is being totally lovable! I love you, dammit, and don't you ever forget it!"
Amy was clearly feeling better. She stared up into his eyes adoringly. "Oh, Beau! I love you too!"
pαпdα-ňᴏνê|·сóМ They kissed with tremendous passion.
Had they not been standing on a sidewalk on some random suburban street, the kissing undoubtedly would have led to more. But they remained mindful of their situation, so they made sure to keep their clothes on and their hands from wandering too much. Besides, it was more of a loving kiss than an all-out lusty kiss.
When the necking ended, Amy pulled back and said with obvious bitterness, "How does that compare with Miss Golden Boobs?"
Alan chided her, "Aims, please don't be like that. I'm telling you, what happened was a freak incident. I know I'm taking her out on these practice dates, but that's all they've been. I just want to be friends with her. Honestly! I wouldn't lie to you, not about something like this."
Amy pointed out, "Yeah, but you're tempted. Way, way, super-duper tempted. Aren't you?"
"Of course I am. I'm only human, and she is extremely tempting, in lots of ways. But I can't just say to her, 'Hey, come join the gang.' You know about her attitude and her sense of morality. No way would she be okay with everything that's happening in my life. If she learned the full truth, it would be like Chernobyl. Nuclear meltdown!"
He was careful to be discreet, since they were outside, but Amy easily understood he was referring to the incest, as well as the overall harem-like situation.
He continued, "That's why I'm keeping her at arm's length. I've made it clear to her that I'm not available. She understands, so that's why she's resisting too. I can't deny there's some sparks between us, and some flirting, and yeah, I made a mistake. But I can handle it. You have to trust me on this!"
Amy pondered that for a long moment while she rested in his embrace. Then she said, "I trust that you mean well. But the fact is, you two are on a slippery slope. Maybe you don't see it, but things are gonna happen. You've crossed a line already, and things can't un-happen, y'know? That's why I kinda got all upset just now, because I know she's gonna be one of your women from now on, and I've gotta live with that."
Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "But if she threatens my official-girlfriend status, I don't care who she is, or how well she fights! I'm not gonna take that lying down!"
Alan kissed Amy's nose and cheeks, hoping to calm her and reassure her. "That is NOT gonna happen. Trust me. It takes two to tango. To get physically involved with her... geez, it would be like signing my own death warrant. True, she might not literally kick my ass, but then again she might. She would certainly cause a lot of trouble, and throw this amazing sexual-paradise situation we've all got into danger. I'm not stupid. I know I've been a cad, but I do have SOME self control. Like I showed with Mindy just now. And in time I'll improve. It's just that right now I'm still the kid let loose in the candy store, running wild."
Amy gently kissed his lips. "Beau, I know you. You mean well; you really do. And generally speaking I do trust you. With girls like this Mindy, no problem. I wouldn't care if you'd fucked her or not, because I know she doesn't have a hold on your heart, and she never will. Heck, I'd even cheer you on with the likes of her, as long as you're careful about the whole disease-y thing."
She spoke with growing emotion, almost on the verge of tears again. "I know when the dust settles and you calm down, it'll just come down to the few of us you love the most. And I love them too, so it's all good! I'm totally cool with sharing you with everyone at home, and a few more besides. It's just that... I was hoping against hope that Christine wouldn't be in the picture. But that was always a super long shot at best."
"She's not! She's not!" he tried to say with determination. "Do you want me to stop my practice dates with her? Because I will, if that's what you want. Maybe that's for the best anyways, because that could be blurring the line between friendship and something more. The main thing is, I don't want you to be sad or worried. And I know your 'checking for bumps' partner has the exact same issues about Christine, so that's double the reason for me to stop those dates." (He was careful not to directly mention Katherine's name.)
Amy stared into Alan's eyes for a long time. Then she leaned forward and kissed him on the nose. Smiling, she said, "Beau, that's sweet, for you to make that offer. But no, I want you to keep going on those practice dates with her. And other fun stuff too, like that trip to the beach you took with her."
"Really? Why?"
She winked enigmatically. "Just trust me on this one, m'kay?"
"But why? Seriously. I was kind of thinking about canceling them already, after what happened last night."
"You two... have to find your own comfort zone. Those practice dates will help speed up the process. It's better to get it over with quickly."
He furrowed his brow. "You think? I don't know."
"Trust me. Us girls, we know these things. Don't worry. To be honest, I really like Christine. I wanna be good friends with her, especially since she means a lot to you. I can totally roll with... whatever happens."
He kissed her lips again, briefly. "Aims, you're the best! But I promise, she and I, we're headed to the friendship zone. Definitely! You have no reason to feel threatened by her. I don't care how beautiful and sexy she is. I know there's only so much of me to go around, and she can't compete with the long history I have with you and certain other people whom I can't name. Besides, it's a matter of self-preservation for me, since she simply seems incapable of understanding or accepting my unusual lifestyle. And I really want to prove to myself that I'm not a cad, and that I can control my libido at least somewhat."
"Uh huh." Amy nodded. "That's good."
He wrung his hands. "By the way, you know... I had sex with Simone today at school. Not that long ago, in fact. And, as you probably know already, it wasn't for the first time either. What do you think about that?"
"Are you taking precautions? You know, about disease-y stuff?"
"I definitely am." He briefly explained how he'd gotten her to agree to have sex only with her non-steady boyfriend plus Heather and possibly the other cheerleaders. He also mentioned how she'd agreed to be tested for STDs again.
She asked, "Do you love her? Or do you think you could love her?"
"No, and no. I mean, she's nice, beautiful, and a lot of fun. She's a big jokester, which I like. The race thing isn't an issue with me at all. But I'm so overextended that how am I ever going to have a chance to get to know her well, much less love her? Besides, I just don't feel a certain 'it' factor with her, and I don't get the impression that she'd want to get serious with me. Friends with benefits? Sure. That would be great. A serious lover? No. Maybe in some parallel universe where things hadn't developed with you and the others, but not in this one."
Amy broke into a wide smile. "Well then, cool! As long as you're careful and stuff, then I'm totally cool with you and her getting it on from time to time. I don't worry about her like I worry about Christine, and she's not a meanie like Heather. If I were in your shoes, I'd bang her!"
"Amy, you're the best. Seriously."
She gave him another long, intense kiss on the lips, effectively ending the conversation.
Afterwards, Amy had to return to school because she was expected to be a cheerleader at the football game, which was going to start in a matter of minutes. Alan walked with her most of the way back, then he finally got on his own bicycle and headed home in the other direction.
His mood was much better, since he felt relieved to get at least that much off his chest.
However, he had a nagging feeling that Amy wasn't convinced that he could avoid getting sexually involved with Christine. Deep down, he had his own doubts about it as well.
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