Strongest Hammer God

Kyle just kept awkwardly looking at Sven/Selene.

“You lied to me,” Sven said with a feminine voice.

“About that,” Kyle answered, “it’s a bit weird hearing a female voice coming out of a male body. I mean, are you Sven or are you Selene?”

Sven snorted.

Then, his brown hair changed color and became longer as his body changed.

A moment later, the familiar image of Selene appeared in front of Kyle.

Of course, over a year had passed since they had last seen each other, and she seemed to have aged a bit.

‘At least she doesn’t look like a teenager anymore,’ Kyle thought.

“Selene, it is,” Kyle said. “So, is Sven a real person, then?”

“You still haven’t answered my question,” Selene said.

“That wasn’t a question,” Kyle smartassed.

Selene sneered in annoyance.

“You’re not a dwarf,” she said.

“Hey, hey, let’s not be hasty,” Kyle said. “You saw me eating a beast. How do you explain that?”

Selene furrowed her brows.

“A trick,” she said.

“How and why?” Kyle asked with a raised brow, his arms still shaking under the weight.

“To mask your Aristocrat’s Body,” she said.

“Very cool. That would explain the why, but what about the how?” Kyle asked.

“How am I supposed to know? Your family probably found a way to do that,” she commented with annoyance.

“Dude, sis, whatever, my family doesn’t even have enough money to buy me some proper food,” Kyle said. “In fact, I don’t even fucking know where they are or what they’re doing. If I’m lucky, they’re already dead.”

“More lies,” Selene said with a snort. “How else would you have gotten an Aristocrat’s Body?”

“Don’t you dare!” Theodor shouted.

“The voice in my head gave it to me,” Kyle said.

“You imbecile! How many more people will you tell your life story to?! Does your dwarf-brain not understand that sharing information is dangerous?!” Theodor shouted.

“Well, what else do you want me to do?” Kyle asked. “She can just call her Colossus, which is named Skyler by the way, over to eat me. I’m not really in a position to negotiate.”

Yet, Theodor didn’t care.

He just kept berating Kyle, which made him roll his eyes.

Naturally, Selene heard all of that, and she furrowed her brows.

“A voice in your head?” she asked with a deadpan voice.

“More precisely, a stone,” Kyle said. “I got a stone in my brain that talks to me. Trust me, it’s crazier than it sounds.”

“You mean less crazy?” she asked.

“Nah, you heard me right,” Kyle answered with a chuckle. Selene looked at Kyle with furrowed brows. “You know that I have your life in my hands right now?”

“Yeah, I just said so,” Kyle answered casually.

“You don’t seem worried,” she said.

“I mean, I kinda am. I don’t really want to die, you know?” Kyle said. “But what am I supposed to do about that? Shit happens. When shit outside your control happens, what’s the point of feeling bad? Nothing you can do.”

“Oh, boo hoo, a landslide destroyed my house, and I lost everything. Yeah, sure sucks, but what is feeling bad going to do? Gotta get back on your ass. Recover as much shit as you can and hope one of your insurances covers it.”

Selene kept furrowing her brows. “Insurance? I know the word, but I’m not familiar with this concept.”

“Oh, you guys don’t have insurances? Boy, do I have a business proposition for you!” Kyle said with a chuckle.

Selene shook her head. “You’re getting sidetracked!”

“No, you,” Kyle answered.

Selene gritted her teeth. “Can you take this seriously?!”

“I am!” Kyle answered.

“Then, why are you not telling me what’s going on with this supposed stone in your brain?” she asked.

“He has a name, you know,” Kyle said. “His name is Theodor.”

Selene’s eyes widened. “Theodor? THE Theodor?”

“I dunno. Is there a different Theodor with enough money to make an Aristocrat’s Body? Also, remember my hammer? Guess where I got that from,” Kyle said. “Also, he’s mad that you guys are using his emblem without paying him.”

“I’m not mad!” Theodor shouted, enraged.

“You’re lying,” Selene said. “There is no voice in your head.”

“Really? That’s the thing you’re doubting?” Kyle asked. “You find the voice in my head less believable than the fact that I have a stone in my brain?”

Selene remained silent.

“Ah, I walked right into that one,” Kyle said.

“You are strange,” Selene said.

“Anyway,” Kyle said. “What do you want me to do to prove that the stone in my brain is telling me what to do?”

“And you’re not listening!” Theodor shouted.

“Okay,” Selene said, “assuming you’re right, tell me, how do I create an autonomous aggregate for a force golem?”

Theodor just snorted.

“He only snorted,” Kyle said. “He does that sometimes.”

Theodor snorted again.

“Okay,” Selene said, “what about a Snifflecrump?”

Kyle snorted with laughter. “A fucking what?”

“This insolent brat!” Theodor shouted in anger.

“He called you an insolent brat,” Kyle said. “Idiot! Don’t just repeat what I said! She’s going to kill you!” Theodor shouted.

Yet, Selene just looked at Kyle with a skeptical expression.

“You really have an Inheritance Crystal in your mind,” she commented.

“A stone, yes,” Kyle said.

“And you really are a dwarf?” she asked.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” Kyle said. “I can eat beast meat and suck all the Ether out of it. I can also fight like a dwarf. They have some weird techniques.”

Selene just kept looking at Kyle.

“To think that the great Lord Theodor would choose a dwarf or half-dwarf as his inheritor,” she commented.

“I did not choose this imbecile!” Theodor shouted.

“Yeah, he constantly calls me his worthy inheritor,” Kyle said.

“Cease your dishonesty! You are not even worthy of carrying my shoes!” Theodor shouted.

“Cease your dishonesty? Who even talks- ooohhh, you worded it like that so that I repeat it, right?” Kyle asked. “Smart.”

Selene just looked at Kyle for a while.

“So,” Kyle said after a bit. “Do I get to live?”

Silence.

“Pretty please?”

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